Monday, 12 January 2009

BEGONE!! You Fraught Perfectionist you!!!!

PERSPECTIVE!!! I * NEED * to find some perspective before I drive myself crazy!!!
I have to admit of being utterly despondent about my circumstances and the backwards step in my riding ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! I CAN see what I need to do to improve, and I feel a month of consistent riding would knock a big hole in my list of faults. BUT! I cannot do this ****WAILS****

Currently I am back at my sisters yard where we have no facilities and I am grieving for my arena with floodlights and TIME to ride! Even though we can use the field to ride, schooling is impossible as the footing is not good enough the school figures out of walk. And Antsje cannot ‘relax’ properly even to lunge – it is too slippy. The main road to get to any of our hacks has been tar and chipped and these little stones are really making Antsje stumble – as soon as she is off this road she is fine on all other surface – I am really conscious of making her foot sore by hacking out too far. URGH!

So I can see all these faults and feel powerless to do anything to improve them – how FRUSTRATING!!!!! BUT!! I AM learning! I do realise how self destructive this is and do not want to go there this year – into that pit of despair…………….

So, I am writing all I have to be grateful for and what I CAN do!

First off – an important statement.

The more you resist your circumstances, the harder you make your life – All the yearning in the world will not change a single thing – SO - work with what you have got!!!

So with this in mind here is my list of REASONS TO BE CHEERFUL!!

· I have my dream horse – many people would be thankful * just * for that ;-)
· I have a yard area that is lit where I can do Work in Hand or ridden work in walk
· The ménage has been marked out!!!
· The field is on a good slope – perfect for building up Hindquarters!!
· The hacks are very hilly – perfect for building up hindquarters lol!!
· I have to think out of the box! Success will be sweeter for the challenge ;-)
· The light nights will be here soon!
· By putting the horses out at night and in in the day will release even more time come the spring!!
· I can use this time to really confirm my goals and my theory ready for the riding
· I have the Dr. Gerd Heuschmann clinic to look forwards to!

I have January syndrome I think! Its always the hardest month! Roll on February, a nice short month and then its………………………..MARCH!! WOOOOHOOOO!! Then time can slow down a bit then …………………..please!!!! I really don’t ask for much do I LOL!!!


Claire said...

crikey, silence for a week and then a load of psots at once!

anyway, if you want a feel for real depression (now lifting at a rapid rate) go and read my blog from the beginning....4 1/2 years and i can finally get on on my own without someone holding her head! finally getting relaxed! ...

anyway, i guess i'll be re-reading your entry re your lesson a couple of times

but i can now see a point where I will be able to start lateral work and move onwards with Molly!

and glad you've decided to give up on the fraught perfectionist grief, it doesn't help!

epona said...

hahaha! Well they have been building up, but i didnt want to post until I did the lesson update as none of it really made sense otherwise!!
I do think they find the lateral work quite calming once they grasp the concept! It does give them something to think about - and the rider lol!!!

trudi said...

ooo Vicky, lots to read and take in but I'm too tired to make a decent go of it tonight....I'll be back tomorrow!!

Anonymous said...

hi Vicky (((HUG)))

please don't be 'utterly despondent' -- at least you have a horse to RIDE. ;)

'was working my way thru your descript of the lesson with Mike....found myself very envious. i feel i have been spinnning my wheels forEVER, accomplishing nothing with my own riding. you have come a LONG way!!!!

i'll try and keep up here, but i REALLY REALLY REALLY miss your blog on EE :cry:.

epona said...

Nice to see you Trish (((hugs)))
I was going to run two blogs but im struggling for time - at least on here I can reference things easier and keep all my rescources in one place!

I know what you mean about 'spinning wheels' sometimes I feel like I am going round and round in circles never really getting anywhere, still stuck trying to perfect the basics!!! But then I guess that was what Eric Herbermann meant when he said ‘Flying changes are just tricks’ I am thinking he must mean that if the basics are in place, the horse is capable of doing all the advanced movements – if the basics are not there, then the advanced work will only be a parody of what they actually *should* be!
I suppose you are ALWAYS working on the basics, no matter what level?